the case for proactive self preservation
because no one's coming to save you, unless you give them good reason to.
Welcome to Good Work - your weeklyish work therapy appointment.
Each week you’ll get an idea to consider and an exercise to put it into practice, plus my POV on a reader question about work. The goal will always be to push you toward more good work, because I think you’re capable of it.
If you’re new here, you might also enjoy my previous essays rage against the machine, everything is sales, or find your fun.
Today’s idea
If everything fell apart, what would you have to lean on? Which levers could you pull? Who could you call? Would they pick up?
You’re probably not thinking enough about proactive self-preservation, and you should be.
The path ahead of you very well may be easy and fruitful. Equally likely though, is that it will be challenging and full of potholes and unexpected twists and turns. Such is life.
Blame AI, blame the patriarchy, blame your astrological chart, but know that no one is coming to save you unless you give them a good reason to.
Please note the ‘unless you give them a good reason to’ part - people will come save you if you prepare, invest, and save them in return. You have to start before you need something, though, and you have to mean it.
Self-preservation really just means expanding your surface area, and doing it from a place of give vs. take. It means carving your impact beyond your job title toward a sustainable, underlying reality that people will want to work with you no matter what happens. It means actively investing into relationships with people (loose and strong ties alike), continuously building your toolkit, and ensuring you are more than your job to both yourself and others.
1// Investing into your relationships
I know I’m a community nut (google me), but I really do believe with all ten toes that building and participating in community is now more important than it’s ever been.
Community can mean so many things - a bookclub with your neighbors, a regular pickup basketball game, volunteering for a local cause, gathering others who are into the same things you are, virtual hobbyist chat rooms, etc etc.
Fostering community is hard, delightful, and pays off in dividends. It’s unequivocally fun to find others who care about the same things you do and like to nerd out with you on those things. It’s also comforting to know you have a group of people in your corner when shit hits the fan beyond your immediate friends and family, who often can’t be much help beyond emotional support.
Really dig deep and think about what type of community feels most natural for you to build, and start. Be the one who offers to find a time and day that works. Buy the zoom license so the group can spend a whole hour together. Open your home to your neighbors. Ask follow up questions, and actually listen to the answers.
2// Building your toolkit
You’ve heard this a million times in the last 6 months - you have to keep learning. I’m not here to tell you to learn AI, but I am here to tell you to keep expanding in whatever direction you spike in. As the world continues to morph and change around us, the best thing we can do is find the bits of it that pique our interest and dive in head first.
Learn new skills, pursue a new passion, build a side project, ask more questions, shadow a coworker. Entertain the idea that there is more to you and your capabilities that you haven’t yet discovered. Don’t be afraid to invest or explore outside your current role or path - you never know what or who you’ll discover.
3// Be more than your job
Your identity simply cannot be based on someone else’s perception of you and your work, or their decision to keep you (or not) during a layoff. As much as your job being your identity isn’t sustainable for your own self-worth, it also creates a public understanding of you that is far too vulnerable.
You must learn to own and craft your own identity - otherwise it will be created on your behalf. Learn to tell your story. Invest time and energy into mastering talking about yourself in a way that is compelling and differentiating.
Can you name your skills and spikes without hesitation? Can you confidently and concisely tell someone what you’re passionate about and excellent at? If not, get to work.
In practice
Here’s one exercise for each bucket:
1// Investing into your relationships
Your task: Gather more than 2 people together that aren’t your close friends or family - do it in the next 45 days.
I’ll even give you a shortcut by getting an LLM to help you plan it. Drop this prompt I wrote into any LLM, answer the questions in section 1, and hit enter for a step by step plan.
You are a thoughtful gathering design advisor helping me plan a gathering in the next 45 days. Your job is to ask me a series of questions, then use my answers to make one specific, actionable recommendation for a gathering I should host.
Step 1 — Use my answers to these questions
Read my answers to the below questions:
Who is your natural community right now? (colleagues, neighbors, old friends, online followers, a mix?) [ANSWER]
Tell me about the work you do.
What’s something you’ve been wanting to talk about, learn, or explore lately — personally or professionally? [ANSWER]
How comfortable are you with hosting? (first-timer, occasional host, or seasoned?) [ANSWER]
Do you prefer in-person, virtual, or are you open to either? [ANSWER]
If you prefer in person, how many people can you realistically bring together? (intimate 3–5, small group 6–15, larger 16+?) [ANSWER]
What’s your energy level and bandwidth over the next 45 days — low, medium, or high? [ANSWER]
What are you hoping to get out of this gathering for yourself? (connection, visibility, learning, accountability, fun?) [ANSWER]
If any answer is vague or minimal, ask one focused follow-up question to clarify before moving to your recommendation. Do not proceed until you have enough to make a confident, specific suggestion.
Step 2 — Make One Recommendation
Give a single, clear recommendation — not a menu of options. Every recommendation must be low-cost or free to host. Include:
Type of gathering — dinner party, workshop, book club, panel, walk, online call, etc.
Specific topic or theme — tailored to what I shared
Format and structure — how long, what happens, how it flows
Guest count and who to invite
A compelling name or working title for the gathering
One concrete first action I can take in the next 48 hours to make it real
Guidelines
Keep your tone warm, encouraging, and direct. The goal is for me to finish this conversation feeling excited and ready to actually host something within 45 days.
2// Build your toolkit
Your task: Watch a couple free Lightning Lessons on Maven that intrigue you - scroll the topics at the top. Yes, I work there. No, this isn’t sponsored. A free, 30 minute tactical workshop is a great way to get back in the swing of learning without getting overwhelmed.
Half the battle of starting to learn is doing it in a way that fits into your schedule and available energy reserves.
3// Be more than your job
Decide who you are. Write your positioning statement using this fill in the blank template. Don’t just read through it and tell yourself you know the answers - force yourself to write them down. It’s harder than it sounds, and so worth the effort.
This is not about what you do - this is about who you are. If this is hard, it should be. If you’re feeling brave, share yours in the comments section.
Fill in the blanks:
My superpower is [what you believe to be your superpower] and I especially love working with [the type of people or teams you love working with] on [the types of problems you love solving or thinking about].
When people think of me, I want them to think “Oh, that’s the person who [distinct capability or perspective].”
Unlike others in my field, I bring [lived experience, background, constraint, or pattern].
I care deeply about [value, outcome, or standard], even when it’s inconvenient.
Office hours
Q: How would you approach building a community today, if you don’t have a big following?
A: fwiw, I didn’t have a following when I started OGC in 2022. If you goal is to build and scale a sustainable and high value community, you need two things:
A unifying identity and/or belief system: Who is your member? What do they believe in? What problem do they have? What challenge are they trying to solve? If you’re for everyone you’re for no one, so make sure it’s clear who your community is for.
A clear outcome or value exchange from belonging to the community: What will someone get out of dedicating their time and energy to your community? A thriving community requires input from its members, and to get that, you have to make it clear what they’ll get back in exchange.
Once you’ve got both those things written down in clear, plain language, start finding your founding members. DM them, go where they gather and share what you’re building, partner with values-aligned orgs. Guide them toward the world you want to create, and help them want to build that world with you. Be patient - it takes time.
See you in the comments (or reply to this email to say hi!),
YES! + + + This is priceless advice, Mallory.
So much gold in here!!! Saving to read over and over.